My/our SW is great!! Personable, professional, gorgeous and an all around cheerleader type. Oh yeah, she KNOWS her adoption "stuff" too. So we have been playing phone tag since the summer when she wanted to drop in to have a visit. Just that, a visit. We haven't seen her in over a year and a half. She really develops a lifelong relationship with her clients and as vivacious as she is, I adore her. So I called her last week, she has call display but took my call despite preparing a dinner party for her son's college buddies.(Cooking for 20-20year olds) We chatted briefly, she could "sense" something from me. Asked immediately about my health, my mom's, my brothers, nieces and nephews. Once it was clear that things are fine with me, she asked me to call her next week. I mentioned Tuesday. Yeap great, good day for her. Well, I chickened out yesterday. WHY? WELL....I am in overdraft for sh.. sakes, what the hell do I need a SW for??? Turns out I DO NEED HER!! She is the voice I need. No she hasn't offered to float me an adoption, nor has she offered to move in with me to help with the house and bills. She is coming to chat openly, honestly as a friend first, a professional close second on a....dare I say it, second adoption. An Ethiopian adoption. Her primary experience is domestic/China equally, but she has experience with Russia and Ethiopia too. She has worked with KL. SHE KNOWS ME!! She is big supporter of me!! She can give me the facts as she sees them....and she has put me as a "priority" that's why she is meeting with mom and I on Sunday night. She is already going to be in town, she's coming by. Olivia will be in bed and we will be able to talk openly. She wants my mom present for the obvious reason that my mother lives with me, and is "witness" to the parent I am, and who I could be to two children. Mom will also be impacted( greatly) if another little kid moves in.
What she told me is that my update would be quick. Nothing has changed. My employment, my house, marital status-everything is the same. Biggest issue is ....$$ followed closely by fear. (planted by the devil no less)
What I told her was this:
1) I attended a KL seminar in April
2) Met and networked through blogging several Cdn families with Ethiopian babes
3) Attended a summer picnic with families "with" kids from Ethiopia
4)CANNOT stop thinking about a second child
5) I have NO funds in sight for this second adoption although I am sure "loanable"
6) I do not want to look back on my life and regret the what ifs
7) I can totally see me raising a boy. 2years or older (younger that Olivia though)
8) I cannot let this go until I have spoken to her about it
So she is coming with the intentions of sorting it out and either moving on it ASAP (as in, including today's phone conversation) OR letting it go.....indefinitely. Not saying forever because I do not know what the far off future holds, but for this time. For now.
Phew Sunday--good thing I have a busy week. Otherwise I may have been tempted to put it off. Ok -now's the time for a windfall someone!
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3 comments:
Your number 6 says it all. I need to focus on that one too! I hope clear answers come!
Louise, Have you considered a Line of Credit??
So, soc worker must be there as I type- weeeeeeellll????
Do you know what I've done? I've looked at how much $$ I need in order to do it, so let's say $20, 000. Then I looked at realistically what can I save each month on a budget. I wrote down everything I spent for a month and saw what I was wasting.
Then I looked at with those savings each month, how long would it take me to get 1/4 way there, 1/2 way there 3/4 way there 100% there...make me see it in small chunks.
It is sooo hard as a single,
(((BIG HUGS)))
how did it go??
Kate
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