PINK or BLUE???

I changed the colour for this blog because my heart yearns for a wee boy. This has taken me off guard as I was not open to this when I was adopting Olivia. Well, honestly the idea/option never came up by either my agency or SW that I could receive a boy, so I pursued my daughter. I really wanted a baby girl. Always have. And I requested just that. "A healthy baby girl under the age of 12 months"---yes you know the one--in aisle 9!! I have a bit more insight, wisdom and OPINION if I could arrange a second adoption. I would blessed by a CHILD under the age of 2.5 years. I would leave it up to the fates of Heaven. Gods angels. They are everywhere. Pink or Blue?? Well, why not green and yellow? Periwinkle even.

Blogging

I have had the pleasure this last few months to come across some wonderful blogs. All of them are adoption related. Either China, Vietnam or Ethiopian adoption. A common thread in all of these blogs is the sincere desire for a child. Most of these parents-to-be are first time parents and just starting the process or are in the early waiting stage. It is an amazing way to document the wait, the stress, the anxiety offered by building your family through International Adoption. Most people are very honest and open to comments. As well, there is a whole community of people cheering one another on. It is for this reason that I value adoption as I do. Adoption meets the needs of several parties all at once. The wanna be parents, the child without a home, and the orphanges that are full to capacity. When I adopted Olivia, there was no opportunity to visit her orphanage. AND there was no real explanation as to WHY we would not be invited in. I would have loved this chance to see first hand where Olivia lived her first 10 months but it was unimportant in the grand scheme -at the time. Olivia was healthy, in new clothing, clean, plump and obviously well cared for by her workers at her orphanage. All of the babies were in great condition. We were blessed to receive these children in the manner that we did, we were not going to challenge seeing the orphanage.
The blogs I read about Ethiopia, there is not only the opportunity to visit the orphanage, but also the chance to meet a birth mother. Visit with her and your new child. What a blessing that would be. I can hardly imagine this for Olivia. That would be a dream. Meeting her mother, holding her hand, our souls speaking, mine in awe of her scarifice and in humble thanks. Well that's what I imagine, anyway. I will never know--and therefore Olivia will never know the circumstances of her adoption placement. This is a piece of information you receive when adopting from Ethiopia. It is a completely different program.

I attended an Ethiopian families picnic with Olivia last weekend. It was awesome. The weather was great and there were many families there. Lots of wee babes just home and several families waiting to go. Interestingly, there were 3 in total, single moms with daughters from China in attendance. All of us looking, dreaming, pursuing a second child. A child from Ethiopia. My decision is no closer--although I am acutely aware that I CANNOT sit indefinitely- after seeing these families. I am praying continually. AND reading blogs. This has been very helpful. Thanks

My smilely boys--say cheese!! Auntie Weez has FINALLY figured photo posting OUT!!

MY Nephew--Adryan

I have two nephews. Devyn is 7.5 and Adryan is 2.5. Both boys are blonde blue eyed, wonders of God. I always say that, "Devyn is sent from heaven".He is our first baby. Both boys are awesome, intelligent, active, curious, LOVING individuals. My baby brother and his wife are blessed with 4 healthy, bright, beautiful children. The girls, Sydney, 5 and Courtney, 3 are also gems but since this post is about my wee Adryan--I will exhault them at a later time. We had the boys for a sleep over on the long weekend. Even with two adults in the house, we feel 3 children is enough for my mom and I to handle so we break the sleepovers up. (girls sleepover later) Adryan spent the whole time yakking away in "Adryanize". He talks constantly but slurs still as some 2.5 year olds do. He had me laughing the whole time. "WEEETHZ--you're not my buddy", "Feel my muscthles"-then he'd punch me! ouch! "weeethz-me no love you" " excuthz me, whosth whip whops??" (flip flops!!) By morning, he was saying "aww weethz I LOVE you" followed by kisses and hugs. "me go in weethz van" "me live at weethz housthe" I tell you, I could HARDLY imagine loving a child as much as I love my brother's children. They are truly a blessing. Olivia adores her cousins-all of them. She has a special relationship with each of them individually. But I can see that she is also partial to Adryan. He is THAT amazing. My Adryan--our last family baby, he is everything boy and then some. He is a light in our family. A light that makes me want my very own boy. One that lives at my "housthe".

A sibling? A brother?

I attended an adoption seminar in April. At that time, I was just collecting information. I attended because it was close to my home, time condusive to my mom babysitting (1-4) and it was a different agency(#D) from the one that facilitated Olivia's adoption. Olivia's agency(#A) was WONDERFUL!!-Still are, but are struggling along with all International adoption agencies, on what programs to offer their singles. Because God knows there are a large number of single parent wannabes. AND that for the most part-most of us would LOVE to be a partnership-but just aren't and can offer something these orphans do not currently have. A HOME. Unconditional LOVE. Support. a LIFE of chances. These orphans can offer many of us; A HOME. Unconditional LOVE. Support. a LIFE beyond ourselves. The local agency-#D- has an established program with Ethiopia. Do I know anyone here?No. Do I know EVERYONE at Olivia's agency?Yes. I travelled with some of them. Brought home our Chinese children together. The other MOST important reason for meeting agency-#D- is that my first agency has now instituted a non gender bias policy. ( in my heart I totally AGREE with their thought process and subsequent decision...but it means not requesting a girl. With China, I most likely would've received a girl regardless but with other countries this is not so much guarenteed)Back in April-when agency #A put this policy into effect-I felt I would not be able to work with them again since my preference (THEN) was a girl. Thank GOD for time. And blogs. My wee narrow mind was closed to the thought of a boy because of FEAR. Single mother"dumb" thinking I could not raise a boy. Weird thought since I am closer to my nephews than my nieces.
AND that Olivia would ADORE a brother. So my heart has flipped. Done an 180. BRING ON THE BLUE!! Well, I would not gender specify at all in my next HS. I'd leave that up to the divine angels GOD has working in these adoption centers. But I am so open to a little boy.
Guess what --this has only INCREASED the yearning.
I chatted this weekend with a new, wise friend and she invited me to the CanadaAdoptsEthiopia site as well as an upcoming picnic.(Thanks Dollie) Looking forward to meeting many families there and adoring their babies.
The seed is so planted.

People reading this blog??

Hi Kate and All,
Sorry I haven't posted much here. I spend a wack of time reading, commenting on others blogs and then surfing for the tiniest bit of info regarding Ethiopia. Living vicariously through others experiences.
My "sense/longing/yearning" has not diminished in one tiny bit. I am praying for revelation. I want with all my heart to pursue this but the signs were so clear from God during Olivia's adoption, that FEAR (aka the devil) has krept in and taken hold. This Sunday Pastor Steve said something that struck a cord with me. If we constantly speak about what we are worried about, writing it down, giving witness to it at every turn(with co-workers, family, friends) it comes to pass because it gets all our energy away from having FAITH. AND turning towards GOD. Therefore, DON'T WORRY!! PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY some more.Wait on the Lord.
That's what my plan is for now.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings

Watoto Choir

Our church, Koinonia CF, hosted the Watoto Childrens Choir a week ago Friday night. My roomate-AKA my mother picked Olivia up early from daycare to bring her home for a nap so she could attend. By Fridays, Olivia is spent and often in bed by 6:45pm. I knew I wanted her to see these children sing, so the retired granny came in handy once again. (hats off to you mom-thanks for picking her up) These children were AMAZING!! INSPIRING!!A testament to what financial support for these kids can do. Everyone of them orphaned by...primarily AIDS. Everyone of them spoke, gave their name, their life aspirations(a doctor, a pilot, a teacher, a pastor) and said how they lost their parents and made it to the Watoto village. These are villages put together and supported by an American Pastor and his wife since 1994. The choir travels around singing, bringing their stories, sad and joyful, to congregations all over the world. I will say I was immediately impacted by their smiles. Their attitiude of graciousness and pure thankfulness was apparent. Two of the boys sang and smiled so abundantly they started to cry. Each one of them gave thanks for their parents and stated they believed their parents were in heaven. That they would see them again someday.It was ...breathtaking. They are from Uganda, Africa. Seeing them has opened a lot of questions for Olivia."Why are they orphans?" "Why did their parents die?" "Is Africa closer than China?" We purchased one of their CD's(should've gotten them all), some jewellry, a book and a t-shirt for Olivia. Awe-inspiring.What I now KNOW for sure is that if a second child of mine doesn't live in Africa...then I don't have a second child.