Tuesday, June 26, 2007

"We could go to Ethiopia"

Well, another day spent daydreaming, longing, running numbers.It is only sensible to think of the finances-not just the finances to facilitate a second adoption but the quality of life I could provide for two children. We don't need fancy things but enabling us to take summer vacations(local to Ontario Cottages) gymnastics, skating,music lessons etc., does equal quality of life. Olivia was quick to say tonight--randomly-although an episode of Ellen featuring "spots" on the world may have spurred her--"we can't go to China and "get" another child.We'd have to go to Ethiopia" ..."because China changed the laws" "But we can still visit China" YES-we can. Homeland visit= also equals finances.
Reading blogs. Finding delight in others experiences and joy.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Is there a NEED for a second blog?

I just created a second blog!!**^%?? Is there a NEED?? Well, my first blog was created by a friend at church as blogging was so new to me. It's going well. I enjoy it and make time for it. It is dedicated to my daughter, Olivia. (Also known as Hui Hui-her Chinese name) I have been wavering for a few months now about the possibility of a sibling for her. (Not like a new doll, puppy or game), but an expansion of our family. Mommy and two kids. I thought I had settled this idea when China announced it's International Adoption Policy change that took effect in May of 2007. There was enough notice to scramble like the dickens, throw together a file, and hope it would get through in time. And I know a few people who did that. I was not one of those who KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that I'd do well with another child. A second adoption--oh that would be dreamy. The blessing of Olivia's adoption was......miraculous. No other way for me to imagine receiving a child. No other way. Would I like to adopt again? OR would I like to re-live Olivia's adoption?? Each child, each situation is different. I am sure that my heart is NOT sure, not closed to a second child. I've known that for some time but choose to ignore it thinking there would be time. Well, didn't China let me know otherwise. So I've mourned something not even tangible. I've mourned the "thought, daydream" of a sibling-a sister for Olivia. A sister that looks like her. Has a similar story to hers. No longer is this dream in exisitance. Of course China "could" change their policies in the future. Do I think they will?? Not in my time frame of bringing home a sibling relative to Olivia in age. So I cried. AND started reading singles adoption sites. Low and behold in my backyard (figuratively) is an agency that facilitates adoptions to many single friendly countries. K. I. Adoption agency offered a free seminar in April within a 1/2 hour of my home. I went--on the very day that my Pastor was quoted to say, "Desire without Action is just Curiosity" AND I came home FULL of hope. That there are still options for our family to expand. Would Olivia's sibling "look" like her-no, similar story to hers--not exactly, but still in need of a forever family--like Olivia was. AND now Olivia, in her perceptivieness has been "requesting" a BROTHER!! A BOY!!Yikes-are you kidding me?? So here I sit-with passports soon to expire, no extra funds to facilitiate a second adoption, and a first child about to start school---and I CANNOT STOP THINKING "I HAVE A CHILD IN ETHIOPIA" Lord, desires of the Heart. Saviour, He can move the mountains. Be still my heart.